[orthodoc]

My brain still doesn't work, post-chemo. I have to use all sorts of coping mechanisms to remember everything I have to do/take with me in the morning/do before or after work. It terrifies me. I don't know what type of work to go for next year, or even if I'll be able to work.

And my older sister calls to moan about how badly off our parents are. I know, I know. I'm visiting my father at the end of this month and my mother, I don't know when. None of my sibs ever bother. Older sis recently made the effort for the first time in ten years, so now she's all in a tiz. I've seen both of the 'rents far, far more. But her moaning is upsetting.

I will be up at 3 am for the next two or three days, to get my academic work done. These days, a little voice in the back of my mind asks, why? I'll probably have mets show up on my July scan. Then I'll wonder why I did all of this.