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I think that is the crux of the attitude. Since most pregnancies are unplanned, society as a whole has been programmed to put the "best possible face on it", as it were. Give the expectant mother as much positive feedback as possible, you-can-do-it, be happy, you didn't just f*ck up your life.
And I think it's only making the problem worse: if adoption were really as encouraged as it in theory is, I think many more women would choose it. But the same family/friends who ask accusingly why someone would choose to not have children also say "How could you give up your own child??" to the totally unprepared and inadequate young mother who accidentally got pregnant.
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