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I just had a meeting with the Int Dir and head of HR. Questions fired at me: well why NOT?
Because this, because that, I tried this...
I got the condescending crap, the incredulous look. ID told HR the Sidler is helping because he has a very special skill set.
No, I have that skill set. He has time. He has them convinced he is here to save the day.
I almost walked out. As it is I'm crying uncontrollably and shaking and humiliated.
THey're still in there, talking about how crazy I am, I'm sure. Diversity doesn't really mean anything unless it's in terms of race or even a disablity they can visually see, can touch. It couldn't be possible that I am, and have been overwhelmed. It couldn't be possible that my ex boss treated people like shit, with short sharp answers that don't lead anywhere except to make you feel stupid.
So the sidler has a skill set? I got more skill than he'll ever know. I'm just in the most fucked-up situation and I'm back to square one: I am nothing. I am not doing my job. I am not as 'talented' as those who have time to chat all day.
I can't put any of this into words any more than I can organize my words when I am being beat down like that. They put it like they're trying to help you 'succeed' but I don't know how that can be when they won't listen.
I've excelled at almost every job I've ever done. Now I'm like the office idiot and the real office idiot is a god among men.
I'm so ashamed.
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