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Trilby, please - call someone who can come be with you physically. One of your sons; other family; AA (I know they didn't come through last time but try again); crisis team. If no one else, call crisis team to make a home visit. They might actually be your best choice.
You are not responsible for what happened. But you need someone with you right now. Please call your sons and let them know. And keep posting, we're here.
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The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated. - Ghandi 
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