[orthodoc]

today. A huge relief, even though I will feel no different until 3-4 weeks from now - I'll have the usual post-chemo routine. Since I haven't recovered during these past two cycles I won't expect miracles right away. But knowing there won't be any more poisoning sessions is a huge psychological boost.

I still have a surgery to go, and a follow-up PET/CT to make sure the hot spots they saw last fall have gone away. Assuming all is good, I then face ten years on anti-estrogens. I have a dilemma about tamoxifen, which my onco wants to use (he won't believe my lab results that show I qualify for aromatase inhibitors; says I don't look post-menopausal). A rare complication is retinopathy that produces irreversible damage to vision. I already have had rare complications that have interfered with my vision. And I seem to be the queen of rare complications!

Not to mention all the other nasty side effects - DVT, pulmonary embolus, stroke, joint pain, muscle pain, bone marrow suppression - those are the most common ones. Oh, and cognitive effects.

Aromatase inhibitors don't have the retinopathy issue as far as I can tell, or far less anyway. They cause bad osteoporosis and high fracture risk, worse bone pain, cognitive effects. No clotting issues.

I wish I didn't have to take either one. I'm tempted to refuse. Have to find studies that compare no treatment to treatment, but they'll be old and rare - treatment is standard of care and studies only look at one treatment vs another now. Lots of women stop these drugs because of side effects but I can't find studies on them.

Back to the good part ... last chemo today!!! On to recovery!!!