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How old are your stepkids, OC? I know you mentioned it at one point in an old thread, but I've forgotten where that is. Your son is coming to live with you soon too, isn't he?
One of the defining characteristics in my stepfamily on my dad's side was that, as the oldest of four kids total, I was expected to watch them on a regular basis. But I was never able to actually secure that sense of authority with them, so they totally ran amuck and I would get in trouble for it. It was extremely frustrating.
In my husband's family, the same thing happened but they were all related, and the oldest girl actually did manage to control everyone reasonably well. (Actually, too much in my opinion, she still acts like a second mother to all of them and it's very irritating.) But I always wondered if they would have respected me more had I been with them the whole time they were growing up.
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