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Yeah, V's right. No big need to rush the dying thing. Stick around. Things always change. Even if they don't get better, they always get different which means you still have any number of possibilities that may be out there for you. And things might even get better. It can happen, you know. Might as well stick around to find out.
Also, keep in mind that while your so-called friend was actually a dirty double dealing rat, he does not have the ability to steal from you your own special self. It may feel like he's done that, but he hasn't. You are still a talented, special, the only one of your kind, incredible human being. Minus one rat. And minus a minus is a plus. Good thing you're rid of him now rather than later. You can now get on with your life. What a relief!
Chances are that given some time, you'll find someone far more worthy than your ex friend could ever even dream of being. It sounds like he might have been the evil twin of the last man I was in a relationship with. Except that after 6 years I found out that we'd actually never had a relationship at all. I felt pretty stupid and terribly used and very lost and very angry. Those feelings DO go away. But you know that already.
A Buddhist mantra just for you. Repeat after me:
May I be filled with loving kindness
May I be well
May I be peaceful and at ease
May I be happy
Breathe. Repeat as often as needed. And post again tomorrow to let us know you're Ok. OK?
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