[Trilby]

I can't say I know how you feel but it does have a familiar ring to it, infini. I would be sick, upset stomach, butterflies, dread, the whole enchilada before work and I worked the very sucky inhumane hours of 7p to 7a. Believe me, when you get to 6:30 in the morning it takes every molecule of your being to NOT bolt. but, I digress. I guess I LOVE to talk about my (old) problems.

I AM in your shoes except for the dreading work part. I do dread some parts of the day - when I'm most likely to lose control, etc., and this month I am getting a new storm door as my old one is 1)original to the house built in 1957; 2)suffering from wood rot and 3) won't close properly and the plastic 'window' is broken. so. this month I'm searching out sources of poor people food (beans and rice, right?) and i won't be driving anywhere that doesn't involve an AA meeting. The month of Oct. is already spent for me. My kitchen floor is a mess, my 1/2 bath doesn't work, I need a new bathtub, new windows (they, too, are 55 years old) and I've virtually NO insulation in this house. I get ice on the INSIDE of one of my bedroom windows.

That said: I thank Goddess every day that I have shelter which I have made at least as beautiful as I can, and food (though it's hot dogs when I want steak) and a car even if it DOES make a funny whining noise which wasn't there last week. I'm healthy. I'm not wealthy. And that will be okay.