[Trilby]

Rebuttal: IF America is indeed being run by the Jews I have picked an inauspicious time to eschew dating Jewish men. Although, to be accurate, the Jewish men I dated were Jewish only because they were smart, not because they were holy or believed in any such nonsense.

I do not recall you coming to me personally for information on Messianic Jews. You treat all Americans as if they are all the same, know all the same people and are cruelly stereotyping us as all knowing about all religions just because we purport to HAVING all religions. Except in Texas where they only have the one: football.

Yes, I do have Irish antecedents. We call them Aunt, Uncle and cousins. However, being of the Lace Curtain variety, I cannot know what you mean by pancetta OR bacon. Perhaps you mean Jamon iberico?

Boursin/Bourskin - neither one clarifies what the damned thing IS. I suspect you of making it up to sound more 'culinary' than you actually are.

Don't talk to me about Woody Allen. The last time he invited himself here he offered to adopt me. Naturally, I said 'no' but in light of your earlier comment about them running America, maybe I was too hasty.

This "Maureen" you speak of. You are so very vague about her that I suspect you are making her up to upset me and cause jealousy on my part. I am imploring you to get some sort of mental evaluation as to your grip on reality. Of course "Maureen" would adore me - IF she exists!

There, you scoundrel! I feel you've been soundly trumped!
Serves you right for being English!