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Old 08-12-2012, 08:32 AM   #77
DanaC
We have to go back, Kate!
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Yorkshire
Posts: 25,964
I gotta agree with 3Ft here. Warning bells jangling over your ex's offers of support.

My advice, is not necessarily to close the door on that, but not to call on that offer of help. Thank him for his offers of support. And appreciate the fact that you have some potential backup if you absolutely need it. But be very wary of actually letting him help with anything beyond words of encouragement. he may be absolutely genuine. Sudden illness like this can shake people. But he is also not to be trusted. because shakeups rarely change anybody in fundamental terms. However genuine his desire to help, he cannot be trusted not to slip into controlling behaviours and abuse the status that help would give him in your life.

You are strong enough. You have a handle on this. It's nice to know that someone's rooting for you, and draw strength from that fact. But don't open yourself up the hurt that comes from him not living up to the promise.
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