OK they do have steeplechase, where you have to jump over something and into a puddle. Somebody probably came up with that on one of these kinds of threads.
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Running while smoking a cigarette, must be consumed down to the butt by the finish line.
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I like this, and it should naturally be extended to relay. There could be two kinds of relay. One where each runner smokes down their butt and then uses it to light the next runner's butt. And another where they just exchange it, in usual relay fashion.
Walking, another good event, probably came from one of these threads.
The whole idea of corporate sponsorship, getting so controversial, I say we take it to the next level. Winston cigarette relay. Fiji Water swimming. Craftsman hammer throw. Frisbee discus. Biggus Discus!
Also, there are Summer and Winter Olympics but no Spring and Autumn Olympics. There's running with a light jacket on. Or hey - Arab Spring Olympics, where you run 800M with a Syrian sharpshooter trying to peg you from atop the torch tower.