[Blueflare]

I saw a film where the protaganoist (a writer) decided to really go for something, reject social norms and follow his dreams, though his dreams happened to be cliched and silly.
But the point is, I want to do the same thing. I feel inspired.
Every time I feel happy or inspired about anything I feel a sense of terror that someone will take it away from me, like the bottom could fall out of my world at any second, being comprised as it is of possibilities, and not realities. But the truth is that there is very little about reality that makes me happy anymore. Maybe it's only by following my dreams that I can improve my reality.
I dunno, I'm pretty ill today, I feel drunk but not in a good way, I may just have had the greatest epiphany of all time or these may just be the quixotic ramblings of a disfunctional loser who will never achieve anything.