[Shattered Soul]

Quoting mrnoodle:

... I don't care how miserable you think your existence is, I don't care how you define love. When you marry someone, you are making a vow. You are promising them, in the presence of signed witnesses, that you are now taking the sacred responsibility of tying your life to theirs. This means that without the express consent of your life partner, you may not engage in a romantic relationship, a sexual relationship, or any other form of relationship with another person. And for those about to call me to task on this, you know what the fuck I mean. I'm not talking friendships, I'm talking mushy you-complete-me letters, secret meetings, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.

If you can't live up to your side of the marriage, don't get married. If you have any other reason other than undying devotion for getting married, you have the obligation to make damn sure the other party knows it in advance so they don't fuck up years of their life trying to figure out why the hell they can't make you happy. It's worse than mismanaging your love life. It's being cruel to someone you purport to love. That's not acceptable, and it sickens any right-thinking person.

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If you think the relationship you had with another woman while you were married is proper and appropriate, then no amount of yelling at you will change your mind. You need to stop defending yourself and figure out why you are cheating. Your dick does not need to get wet to constitute cheating. It's a state of mind. That's my opinion, at least, and you certainly don't have to share it.

You also lose your privacy when you get married. If you have nothing to hide, there's no reason why both of you shouldn't have access to every file on your computer. Why the hell shouldn't she read them?

I realize you're on the defensive, but you should be. If you still long for a private life, don't be married. You're still trying to sugar coat this, and not all of us fall for bullshit. I've seen enough cheating people to see the signs of guilt, and I wouldn't be at all surprised if you were still doing it with someone. Not sex per se, but contact with this woman or another woman. You don't have the demeanor of someone who realizes they have done wrong and are taking steps to correct it. You have the demeanor of someone who is just sorry they got caught, and is trying to spin the situation in their favor.

end o' quoting mrnoodle...




All I can say is, BRAVO! I think that you expressed the reality of commitment in your early posts amazingly well. I feel the same way about cheating, but could never have posted my opinion so succintly and so...just...WELL. Regardless of whether he's an ass or not, your expressed views were a joy to read. You rock.