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i have recently started more and more to be skeptic about my skeptisicm.
in the past - for most of my adult life anyway - i believed that intuition was just the word we gave to thinking and pattern finding in the back of our heads, gut feelings never told you anything other then what you are feeling yourself, vibes are just subconscious perception of body language and tone of voice too fast for us to put into words, dead people are dead, and mystic powers are fallacies of perception... i was offically "open for the possiblities" the same way i am open to the possibility that the universe is entirely my imagination - could be philosophically but i wouldn't make any life decision based on that.
it's only with my ex wife that i got plenty of remote sunsations - constantly from early on - that ended up being very accurate, and had a certain flavor to them... but i was still able to chuck it out to coincidence or my mind playing tricks on me, fallacies, projections, whatever...
she herself was also skeptical - she has told me she tried getting into those things and had a period of it as a teen but nothing much beyond, but when she tried divinations they where so creepishly accurate that they scared the crap out of her so she had to stop. there was no explenation for it as far as she was concerned. my ex is a very intelligent person, but she sometimes had a hard time recognizing and weeding out subjective and retroactive biases, so i chucked that out too.
then their was an expeirence that seeded my double-layered doubts: one night where she took me to the kitchen, otherwise my realm (i cook), held my hands, told me to talk to someone who died and tell them one knock for yes two knocks for no. i chose my father and... we got out information that i didnt know, and she had no way of knowing, information i had to check later with my mother. plus the knock from the top of the wall where there was nothing behind... the whole thing was just plain creepy. she told me she has no explenation, its just something she has always being able to do. i still have no idea what to make of it.
in the last day and a half i've had the same gut feeling that she's not only thinking about me but is missing me like hell, at those very moments, that she wants me back and then has her fears holding her back, that she wants to cry out in frustration "why did he have to be such an ass!"... and that she's being drinking.
same old flavor, and this time i am not sure if i am inclined to chuck it out so easily.
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