The Cellar - View Single Post

Undertoad · 02-13-2004, 05:13 PM

Here's another thing; you feel terrible right now, yesterday and today, but you aren't always going to feel this way.

In another few days, you'll feel differently. The pain and shock will be gone and you'll be in another place... still maybe not the best place, but better than it is now.

One of the foundations for your relationship has been yanked out from under you. What you need to do is to look at the relationship as it is now, and take some time to see what you think of what it is for you today. You've loved the idea of what you had; what will you do with nothing but the man remaining, with all the ideas and history trashed?

If at the end of that time, you still feel like the man is meaningful and valuable to you, you'll then decide to rebuild that foundation. If you find that it isn't so meaningful to you today, maybe it never was to begin with, and you'll have to bitterly move on.

I guess the main thing is, you don't have to do anything right away, you don't have to make any quick decisions.

Life is like this: you plan for it to go a certain way, you DREAM for it to go a certain way, and then it throws you the big curve ball. Life plays with us and toys with us. Life builds beautiful mirages of dreams, and then shatters those mirages and laughs at us as we cry over losing what we never even had. And then, sometimes, life turns around and reminds you of what's so great about it. Fills you with glory and excitement and beauty.

In the long run, you'll find that it wasn't which path you were on all along, whether it was the planned path or the accidental path, the path of your dreams or the worst nightmare... life isn't about those paths, so much as it is about the flowers along the path.

And every day a fresh set of them, and every day different.

02-13-2004, 05:13 PM	#15
Undertoad Radical Centrist Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Cottage of Prussia Posts: 31,423	Here's another thing; you feel terrible right now, yesterday and today, but you aren't always going to feel this way. In another few days, you'll feel differently. The pain and shock will be gone and you'll be in another place... still maybe not the best place, but better than it is now. One of the foundations for your relationship has been yanked out from under you. What you need to do is to look at the relationship as it is now, and take some time to see what you think of what it is for you today. You've loved the idea of what you had; what will you do with nothing but the man remaining, with all the ideas and history trashed? If at the end of that time, you still feel like the man is meaningful and valuable to you, you'll then decide to rebuild that foundation. If you find that it isn't so meaningful to you today, maybe it never was to begin with, and you'll have to bitterly move on. I guess the main thing is, you don't have to do anything right away, you don't have to make any quick decisions. Life is like this: you plan for it to go a certain way, you DREAM for it to go a certain way, and then it throws you the big curve ball. Life plays with us and toys with us. Life builds beautiful mirages of dreams, and then shatters those mirages and laughs at us as we cry over losing what we never even had. And then, sometimes, life turns around and reminds you of what's so great about it. Fills you with glory and excitement and beauty. In the long run, you'll find that it wasn't which path you were on all along, whether it was the planned path or the accidental path, the path of your dreams or the worst nightmare... life isn't about those paths, so much as it is about the flowers along the path. And every day a fresh set of them, and every day different.