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really, there is no amount of money in the world that could make up for the pain of finding out that he was using me.
that is a direct quote from an earlier post. i am angry, okay. OF COURSE i don't want us to be a lie! the marriage i thought i had and our happiness and future is WAY more important than material shit. if i even cared about material things, i would never have married him. he made little money as a painter, no car, was getting evicted, couldn't go to school or get a good job because of citizenship issues. i married him for pure love. don't accuse me of being shallow. if anything, i am an IDIOT. not shallow, but definitely lacking in decision making skills. but my love was very very blind. this is about love. i am looking for any way to make myself feel better. any way to rationalize staying with him, because the truth is, i don't want to be without him, but i also don't want to feel like a sucker. it's hard to explain. also, what if he was using me?? in that case, i would want him to pay! i wouldn't want to be used as a sucker for free. but, if he really loves me and will stay with me, him paying off my debt is also helping him, because it is "our" debt and if we ever want to buy a car or a house, it would have to go under my name. his credit is completely ruined.
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