Quote:
Originally Posted by Flint
"Tests?" No. It's an organic process; it can't be "gamed" to maximize benefit and minimize disappointment. You're doing it wrong.
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being an organic process can be a good thing or a bad thing.
you can organically fall inlove and have 12-18 months of being high on love hormones reinforced by beautiful sex and bonding moments and convincing your brain to invest more and more of your life in the relationship and that's the mother/father of your future children, only to have it fade and find out that when it comes down to it that person has critical traits you don't really want to live with.
for me, that trait was the incapacity to incorporate other point of views into her understanding of the situation and her actions.
and the results of that trait where nightmarish:
1) a complete incapacity of admiting or thinking of what she does as wrong because it is hurting someone she says she loves.
2) an incapacity to understand the situation given all the perspectives involved and thus the context of her actions.
3) me loosing respect for her as a mother given her lack of capacity to see her own actions in light of child's point of view.
so next time before anything happens organically, i want to make sure that person doesn't have that trait, not because it can't happen with that trait - i know it can - but because i don't want it to.