[DanaC]

I said goodbye to my little Pilaudog at around 00:15 tonight. An hour and a half ago.

He's barely eaten for days. Spent most of Christmas trying to get food into him. Every so often I'd find something that got his interest enough to eat and he'd have a little rally. Then there was two days where he ate almost proper amounts and seemed a lot better. But the weight had dropped off him and then he stopped eating again. Took him to the vets today and he said his heart was quite bad, and the only thing he was able to do was give him an injection to ease his pain and see how he got on over the next 24 hours, to see if I could get him to eat.

Watching him on the sofa, with his breathing laboured, and unable to muster interest for any food, not even forbidden favourites...and then when he couldn't walk properly to get to the garden and stuff...he's been coping more than he's been living, for days now. He started doing little gasping breaths and I just thought, I can't let him go through the night.

It was peaceful. The vet came out and he was on his own sofa at the end. With me sat on the arm of the sofa in full view of him, and J (his daddy) sat next to the sofa. He was calm, and didn't even react when the vet was putting the catheter in. It was so quick, and so peaceful. He just relaxed and went into a sleep and then his heart stopped.

Hardest decision I ever had to make. But it was time. I gave him as much chance as I could to rally if there was any rallying to be done. But at this point, even he'd rallied...for what? For me? *sad smile*

Goodnight my little wolf. You were a Good Dog, even when you were being a little git. You did good.