[Whit]

      Punishment is being discussed in the other thread. Here I'd like to put forth one of my basic beliefs. Certainty vs. Severity. In short I think how harshly you punish a child is less important than how consistently you enforce the rules.
      I'm often told by clerks and shopkeepers how well mannered my kids are. This is mostly because they know that if they act up in public when they're with me they don't want to go home afterwards. By the way, I don't count and I rarely ask anything twice. A suggestion that I'm about to repeat myself is generally enough to snap them to attention.
      This being said these same two kids are often little hellions when they're with their Mom, who punishes them more severly than I. The four of us went out to dinner last week and they shocked me with how ... well ... spastic they were acting. I'd never faced anything like that when they were out with me. However, they do know that Mom has custody and is far more erratic with punishments than I am.
      Which brings me to my next point. Their Mom often complains that I never have to discipline them. Compared to her this is true. She says they just act better for me, though she offers no reasons this might be the case. My opinion is that the kids know I don't give second warnings. One scream without good reason (I hate noisy brats, hurt yourself and cry out fine, screaming for fun ... not in my house) or knocking over of furniture garners an immediate response. I'm never to tired or to busy to lay down the law. Not even the precious 'phone time' when I'm busy with a long distance call will stop me from dealing with my child immediately. More importantly they know it. Thus, I believe the reason they behave is they know with certainty that they will be punished. Because of this I never have to be severe with the punishments.