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I can only speak to my experiences, and a bit of what others have said or written.
IMO, daughters bond with their Moms and sons with their Dads,
and have to pass through the terrible teens to magic twenty-somethings
when suddenly the parents become a lot smarter and nicer.
But even for years after, there is still the inner drive of parents trying to draw out
the best for their child, and the child seeking approval and respect of the parent.
Conflicts come when either or both don't or can't satisfy that inner drive.
My wife and I raised 3 daughters, and I've seen (and sometimes been privy to)
both sides of at least 20 years of these push-pull endeavors .
It's been wonderful seeing three different personalities (as far apart as the legs of a milking stool)
approach, test, respond, react, manipulate, attack, coalesce, retreat, tease, sulk, give, take...
and grow along this path to their own adult relationship with their Mom.
But the best parts have been watching each girl transition from daughter-hood
to mother-hood in their own family, and their Mom (sometimes reluctantly)
giving up some of her previous life-role in exchange for becoming a grandmother.
Somehow, it's all worked out great.
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