Quote:
Originally Posted by jimhelm
So, hearing everyone tell you that you don't deserve this kind of treatment rolls right off, don't it? You're scratching your head wondering why she did it anyway. I mean.... We just know you from the words you write, and the things you say. Selene lived with you. If anyone knows you, it's her...right? And for some reason, she willfully and specifically fucked you over. She seemingly went out of her way to hurt you. Why? Why did she think she had to do it this way? What did she mean, you wouldn't let her go? Maybe you were unwittingly possessive and controlling... Maybe you didnt realize that you held sway over her. She seems strong, but perhaps it was a front...
Maybe thats all crazy thoughts that will keep you wallowing in circular confusion for a couple of months.... She has closure. You don't.
That's the worst part. The wondering why. In time, ...a lot of time.... You'll give up wondering. You can't understand it because you are not her.
Maybe you won't be bothered by it.... All I know is that I was...and because I'm egocentric, I assume you would react the exact same way that I would 
I hope you're hearing this might help you see that it ain't you, it's her...and even though you may not be able to Really literally Realize it, that maybe it will give you a foothold.
You'll be a better man ....even Better!.... From the introspection.
I hope this part goes as quickly and easily as the gods can allow and still afford you the ability to learn what is being taught (whatever that is) without the need for a repeat lesson.
My love to you, brother. All of our loves to you. We have your back. |
Jim, you are both wise and insane. Everything you say above is true, yet limited. Yes, I feel all those offended things...but...
...I've been waiting for the deep gut wrenching ass kicking to flow over my reality, and it just doesn't happen.
Perhaps I've overstated things. What I said about the departure was true, but since that's gone down, I've been moving stuff in with TF...she's been working her ass off at my soon to be ex house every day to organize, package, eliminate, and get what matters moved here.
I think this is what was supposed to happen. I wish it had happened differently, but...