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Can I be the drunken companion you'd really like to get rid of but just don't have the heart to? The one who needs all the bathroom stops? And who you lose from time to time but I always seem to catch up in the next town?
We can start with the grandpappy of spite signs, here in my town:
(My Town) Protocol: Bend Over, Grab Ankles.
Erected by a disgruntled homeowner over the same sort of thing. I went by it after Thanksgiving. It's faded and worn but you can still read it! The city tried to make him take it down but the guy followed the rules on placement and erection.
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