[Aliantha]

My Dad and I were having a conversation about my kids the other day. Their father moved to NZ almost 2 yrs ago and wants them to go over and stay with him and his new family for xmas this year.

I have agreed that they can go, but Aden in particular has a lot of issues with his father, the least of which is that he moved to another country and didn't tell them for several
months. Just disappeared.

So anyway, Dad knows the history between Kal and I and my Dad is no big fan of Kal's, but his words to me were, "It doesn't matter what sort of an arsehole their father is, they have a right to make their own decisions about their relationship with their father, and they're old enough now that they should be able to ask the questions they want and receive the answers they need. Truthfully."

So anyway, I've told Aden he should go and ask his father why he's made the choices he has. I just hope that they don't come to blows.

eta: So anyway, my point is that no matter what the history is, all kids deserve to know their parents and eventually make their own decisions about what sort of relationship they want with them (barring the possibility of some kind of abuse of course), so I think you're doing the right thing Ducky. I don't believe your sister has a right to keep her child from his father just for her own reasons.