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Brigliadore · 02-05-2004, 09:14 PM

I have actually had something like this happen to me. Long before I met HP I was engaged to another man. One day while I was out of town I got a call from him telling me he had gotten drunk a month before and cheated on me with a friend of mine. The only reason he was telling me was because her boyfriend had found out and was going to tell me as soon as I got back. I guess he figured it was better to hear it from me then from someone else. I was so mad I was calm if that makes any sense, and actually watched the whole Miss Teen USA pageant as it was just the right amount of mind numbing stupidity I needed at the time. I stayed with him (mostly because he threatened to kill himself if I left him) but the trust was never the same. I stayed with him for a few more months but it finally ended as we just couldn't get past it. About 8 months after we broke it off I was talking to the girl he had cheated on me with (strangely I never blamed her and stayed friends with her, only not as close) and she informed me that all that time after the incident that we were still together he was telling her that if she would have him he would break it off with me in a second, and that he didn't love me and only wanted her. I have no reason to not believe her on that point.
Now when it comes to telling to other person about something like that I have to say it depends on the situation. If you did get drunk (or something else that alters you ability to say no) and you TRULY regretted what you did after and you have a stable and loving relationship with your partner, I say don't tell them (if you can stand the guilt as Sun_Sparkz pointed out). Learn from your mistake, make sure to never put yourself in that position again and try and be the best partner you can for the person you are with. I know the pain it causes to be told, and in my case I was glad he told me as I wouldn't have wanted to marry him only to find out this was a pattern and that he didn't love me (which I believe would have been the case). But if you truly love the person you are with then I say don't tell them and yes even lie to protect them.

02-05-2004, 09:14 PM	#5
Brigliadore stays crispy in milk Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: A strange planet called Utah Posts: 270	I have actually had something like this happen to me. Long before I met HP I was engaged to another man. One day while I was out of town I got a call from him telling me he had gotten drunk a month before and cheated on me with a friend of mine. The only reason he was telling me was because her boyfriend had found out and was going to tell me as soon as I got back. I guess he figured it was better to hear it from me then from someone else. I was so mad I was calm if that makes any sense, and actually watched the whole Miss Teen USA pageant as it was just the right amount of mind numbing stupidity I needed at the time. I stayed with him (mostly because he threatened to kill himself if I left him) but the trust was never the same. I stayed with him for a few more months but it finally ended as we just couldn't get past it. About 8 months after we broke it off I was talking to the girl he had cheated on me with (strangely I never blamed her and stayed friends with her, only not as close) and she informed me that all that time after the incident that we were still together he was telling her that if she would have him he would break it off with me in a second, and that he didn't love me and only wanted her. I have no reason to not believe her on that point. Now when it comes to telling to other person about something like that I have to say it depends on the situation. If you did get drunk (or something else that alters you ability to say no) and you TRULY regretted what you did after and you have a stable and loving relationship with your partner, I say don't tell them (if you can stand the guilt as Sun_Sparkz pointed out). Learn from your mistake, make sure to never put yourself in that position again and try and be the best partner you can for the person you are with. I know the pain it causes to be told, and in my case I was glad he told me as I wouldn't have wanted to marry him only to find out this was a pattern and that he didn't love me (which I believe would have been the case). But if you truly love the person you are with then I say don't tell them and yes even lie to protect them. __________________ I cant think of anything to put here so this is all I am going to write.