[ZenGum]

Originally Posted by footfootfoot

Put him in the hold until he's sober?
Shave his belly with a rusty razor?
Put him in the long boat till he's sober?
Put him in the scuppers with a hawse pipe on him?
Put him in bed with the captain's daughter?
Beat him with a cat 'til his back is bleedin'?
Put him in the bilge and make him drink it??
Truss him up with a runnin' bowline?
Give 'im a dose of salt and water?
Stick on 'is back a mustard plaster?
Send him up the crow's nest till he falls over?
Tie him to the taffrail when she's yardarm under?
Soak 'im in oil 'til he sprouts a flipper?
Put him in the guard room 'til he's sober?
Shave his balls with a rusty razor?
Make him the skipper of an Exxon tanker?
Give 'im the hair of the dog that bit him.
Pull out the plug and wet him all over?
Shave his back with a rusty razor?
Give 'im a taste of the bosun's rope-end?
Heave 'im by the leg with a runnin' bowline?

Treat him with compassion because he's a victim of a dysfunctional upbringing?

Nahh.

Snort!