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J and J (who split up last year then got back together again, but with J living back in his own house) went looking at a house today. They're looking to rent a place together, and she will rent out/sell her little terrace, and he will give up the house he's been renting for the past 13 or 14 years.
On the one hand I'm really happy for him. Things seem to be going well, and this is a proper commitment, from both, with both taking a leap together. That's brilliant.
On the other hand I feel decidedly weirded out by the thougt of him no longer having the house down the hill. The one we lived in together when we were a couple, and the one where I've been able to visit him on foot on and off even since he and Jan got together. And a place that made it convenient on the occasions he visited here - no need for buses or trains, it's five minutes down the hill.
It's gonna seem weird him not having a place down there. His house, Martin's house and Mum's house have kind of been the borders of my immediate world for a long time.
I don't like change. Who does? I already don;t see him as often as I used to. We're both pretty busy people. But from time to time we get together and watch a marathon of watever show we're both into, either down the hill at his house, or up here at mine. And, that will all change. If he comes to mine to watch a show, he'll have to stay sober as he'll be driving. If I go to theirs I'll need to stay over because the last bus is so early in the evening.
It also means that when I visit, I'll be visiting them, rather than just him. Which in some ways is lovely. Jan's a good friend and I like the dynamic of the three of us. But at the same time, I will miss that other dynamic: chilling with my geek mate, talkin MMO and game development, or watching an entire series of Dexter across three visits :p
'S been a long time coming really. They've been together now for coming on 4 years. But J always kept his house on, even when he was living at Jan's. There's still odd things there that are left from when I lived there. And it will seem odd for that final connection to my own past to be severed. Especially since the yard is shared by two other houses including my brother's. So, I'll be going through the yard to Martin's house and someone else will be living in Jude's house.
Everything changes. But ... knowing it and being happy about it are two different things.
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