[piercehawkeye45]

Here is few things I noticed. I apologize in advance for the choppy and most likely incomplete or overly repetitive thoughts.

And yes, I feel like a relationship would make me happier. I don't see how a good relationship could NOT make a person happier.

I want to start here since this is something fundamental that I disagree with. It's not that it can't be true, but that I feel it is a misguided approach. From watching my friends get into relationships I've noticed one big trend: happy single people tend to get into healthy relationships and unhappy single people tend to get into dysfunctional relationships. My theory for this is that happy people are secure with their single life and don't feel they need to get into a relationship, but get into one because they want too. Unhappy people on the other hand are usually insecure with their single life and look for other people to fill the gap. This usually leads to dependency and relationships built on raw emotion instead of some healthy common ground. Then these people go back to being unhappy because what they need is not another person, but some security with one's self.

Here is one of my favorite quotes when it comes to relationships:

If meeting, dating or relating with women, and the improvement of this area in life, is your NUMBER 1 priority you are already screwed

I understand this advice probably isn't what you want to hear but I feel (keep in mind I don't know you and I'm just applying other experiences to what i know from your few posts) you probably should focus on your own life, in a productive way, for a while. Maybe a relationship would be helpful, it would be good for you to get into one to practice social skills, but, as Monster pointed out, there are some pink elephants in the room that you need to work on first.

While everyone is different and everyone responds to different things, I am a firm believer that overall happiness comes from security with one's self. Think Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs as a reference. You need to find out who you want to be and what you want to do with your life.

I'm kind, thoughtful, kinda funny, I'm a good listener and I'm pretty good at helping people with their problems, I have a pretty relaxed attitude in general and I think people find that refreshing/calming, I have a decent head on my shoulders, and I dunno, if a girl likes me and has a lot in common with me, why shouldn't she date me?

I'm going to be harsh here so take this as constructive and not as a personal attack. I can actually relate with your situation so hopefully this has some perspective.

Ok, so you have a decent personality. It seems like you feel a girl should settle for you and not actually go after you. You are the type of guy that people can stand and get along with, but probably not the guy that people envy to be.

From what you said, your life seems pretty uneventful. You live with your parents, you have no idea what you want to do with your life, you aren't self-sufficient, you have very few if any hobbies, you aren't doing much to improve yourself, and you aren't that confident in social situations (which probably means you aren't a blast to be around). I realize I am just focusing on the negatives but this is at least a perspective you should keep in mind, but not dwell too much on since that would be counterproductive.


My advice, beside the entire job thing, is to start trying new things. Find a few things that interest you and start setting some small reasonable goals for yourself. Here is a quick list of suggestions:

*Learn how to cook a new meal (start small if you don't know how to cook) (there is nothing better than eating a good meal that you made yourself, plus girls love it as well)
*Join a race (start with a 5K then move up) (this will inspire you to work out, which builds confidence and makes you physically look better)
*Volunteer (besides helping others, you can meet new people)
*Learn an instrument (you don't have to be great but its relaxing to play your own music)
*etc


It can be very difficult to start, but if things go well it should snowball. The overall goal here is to start building confidence and sense of self-worth. Once that improves, your attractiveness to women should improve as well.