[Sundae]

I've been single for over four years, and the last "relationship" was really just friends with benefits anyway.
I have not had an actual, stable, mixing with friends and family relationship since I split up with my husband in 1998.

You get used to it, because you can't fret about anything for that many years.
Well, except you do and then send yourself fruitloop.

This is the trouble with asking advice (as per Flint's recent insight). People who haven't had a long period of being single won't really understand how you feel or why you can't replicate their success.
But those that have the same experience are obviously making the same mistakes as you, so won't give good advice.

Oh and a slap to anyone who posts "You won't meet anyone until you stop looking."
It's smug and it's untrue.
So there.