Alt Text: Facebook, Google Battle for Hearts and Minds of Jerks
By Lore Sjöberg September 23, 2011
Facebook has been revamping with the speed and intensity of a traditional revamping master,
in its constant battle to beat out Google for “total number of users pissed off by free services.”
It's not hard to irritate people on a social media site, of course.
The two easiest ways to do it are:
1. Change something.
2. Don’t change anything.
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“Make no mistake,” said the head of Facebook’s Department of Fictional Public Relations.
“We are here to stay.
We won’t rest until every person on earth with an internet connection
is posting to Facebook about how much Facebook sucks.”
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Google’s Head of Apocryphal Statements countered, saying,
“Google has one thing Facebook doesn’t:
our mantra, ‘Don’t be evil.’
That philosophy guarantees that people will go completely puppy-slappingly berserk
whenever we do anything even slightly dubious.
It’s that resentment that will carry us into the 22nd century.”
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While the two companies have the same goal, their approaches are very different.
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Meanwhile, former media darling Twitter is suffering
from widespread lack of discontent among its users,
and the company is left grasping for fresh new ways to irritate consumers.
While service outages and confusing changes kept users enraged and engaged for a while,
Twitter’s recent dust-up with developers barely raised the blogosphere’s blood pressure,
and the microblogging service was forced to discontinue the policy in the face of white-hot indifference.
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