On Wednesday I got an email from a friend asking me to please contact a Brit she had just met who was so desperately overwhelmed by culture shock, three weeks into her permanent move here. I called her immediately. She couldn't hear any Brit in my accent. We talked for a while, then met for a walk then coffee on Friday.
Whilst some things have changed since I've been gone, the essential differences remain the same. The stuff that causes the culture shock. And there are somethings that are totally personal. She's devastated by not being able to find ready-to-eat avocados. I don't even like them. On top of it, she's clinically depressed in my, her and her husband's non-expert opinion, but can't see anyone about it because they are still trying to sort out the health insurance.
Her son plays football for the high school. The one my daughter should have gone to but we opted out. Her daughter is in 8th grade. They struggle with what to wear to school every day because there is no uniform. This bit they knew. The shock side ..... there is a "uniform" that you must buy/wear for pretty much every other aspect of your life. I brought trainers/sneakers to to walk in. I wore jeans but that was a conscous decision for vanity -I would usually wear sweatpants/jogging bottoms. She walked in her cowboy boots and a dress. I remembered that I would have done that too, way back when. Walking is not really a vigorous exercise and does not require a uniform. Join an after school club? here's your t-shirt. Play a high school sport? pay $200 for the uniform. Family reunion? t-shirt. oh family reuinions.... lucky expats don't have to deal with those unless they married into it..... they can be something else. no Brits don't do that. at all. Except for this one family Sundae knows......
:p Here, go to Cedar Point (=Alton Towers)/anywhere on a summer weekend and there are family reuinions by the shedload. Except they're not all together/united. But they are all wearing the same "Doofus family Reunion 2013: RIP Nanna Doofus, Welcome John Wayne Doofus III and K'nytelim Xageratin Doofus" t-shirts in lurid colors so they can spot each other at a distance. I digress. Second hand as new sporting goods and other leisure goods are a bargain here, because so many people go and buy the uniform/full kit and kaboodle before they've decided if they really like their new pastime. it's a belonging thing.
Which is the next difference she encountered. She's desperate and self-admittedly impatient to make friends. So everyone is telling her to join a church. Churches here are social clubs. Not just somewhere to worship and for old single women to fuss over the vicar and arrange flowers. She's a (Jewish) atheist whose culinary piece de resistance is pulled pork. yes, there is the JCC. But the Brit way of doing things -even for people desperate to make friends, is more to sneak in the side entrance and observe, pick out potential friends and slowly move in. No name tags, spotlight on the newbie, everybody meet maria, she's new in town and would like to make some new friends which can happen here. In general we're kinda reserved. (until we've lived here for 10 years. then we scare new brits as much as born-and-breds
) My friend, who asked me to call her, is a lovely lady whose job it is to organise the "welcome newbie" things at the JCC. Fortunately, she' very empathetic and -bless her- realized that this was not going to work for our latest immigrant. hence the call to me.
So now I'm busy reliving and remembering all the differences. And how much more differnet the language is than you thing. Suddenly I became so aware of how American my speech is. Even if most Merkins can still hear the accent.
Pavement = road
sidewalk = pavement
hood/bonnet boot/trunk gas/petrol
squirl =squirrel
kids = children (unless you're northern &/or common
)
yard = garden
speed bump = sleeping policeman
escrow = ??????
lawyer = solicitor
buyer's agent = - - -
and that was the first 5 minutes......
crazy different.
Don't get me wrong, I love it here. I fit much better here than I ever did in the UK. But it's so diffferent you cannot imagine until you have done it. and it literally puts you in shock, because you think you know what to expect.