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Old 07-10-2011, 07:28 PM   #666
Clodfobble
UNDER CONDITIONAL MITIGATION
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Austin, TX
Posts: 20,012
This is more than mildly amusing, this is cracking me up to be honest, but there's no "What's cracking you up today?" thread...

So like 5 years ago, I bought a CD from a cute little independent website called CDBaby. Flash forward about 3 years, I get an email from the owner of the site talking about how he has sold the site for a ridiculous sum and used all the money to create a charity promoting music classes for underprivileged kids.

It was a nice story and all, but the tone of the email was more than a little pandering. The whole thing was written as if we were good friends, mail-merged with my first name, the name of the CD I had bought way back when, and even my shipping destination city. (As in, "Hope you've been enjoying that great weather in Austin!") Of course it had been sent to the entire email list of everyone who had ever purchased a CD from him, and was basically asking, in a super chummy way, for donations and other support for his new charity.

Well, I was bored that day, and more than a little bemused, so I wrote him an email in reply--as if yes, we were in fact good friends, and here, since he's given me such an extensive update on his life, let me in turn give him an extensive update on my interests. I told him all about the autism treatments, my cooking blog, sent him links to the progress videos, etc. He did write back with thanks and cursory interest, then it fizzled out after one or two more back-and-forths.

Then a few months later, he spammed me again with more self-serving links and information about his "projects." Again, to his whole list, again as if we were old friends from before the war. So I replied again in kind.

And again. And again.

Every time this dude contacts me about shit I don't care about, I send him one back about shit he doesn't care about. Today, my email said this:

Quote:
Hi Derek,

It's so great to hear from you! I apologize for the delay in my reply, my email program had moved your message to the spam folder (what could it possibly have been thinking?!) I know you must have been eagerly awaiting an update on my son's recovery from autism...
Etc., etc., lots of details about how great he's doing, the Tae Kwon Do school where no one has any idea he has (soon to be had) a diagnosis, and the current balance of digestive meds. But the real kicker was my closer:

Quote:
Check out the attached pictures from my son's colonoscopy!
God, I hope his email program has a preview function that will load the image without asking.


I know it would be more effective to just ask this guy directly to take me off his email list. But this is so much more fun...
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