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IMO Something happened to her. Childhood abuse maybe. Everytime she goes to her mom's its coming out... it may be getting harder and harder to control. Chances are, she will resent you and anyone who tries to help her ( for a while) Chances are, she hates what she is doing as well.... hence the anger and denial. Pretending nothing is wrong is her defence.
Help will hurt her at first.... but it will be a good thing for all of you. One way or another. All you can do is strongly suggest councelling. If she wont go, you go... and the kids if possible. They need to know its not their fault.
Sorry you are going through this... hugs to you.
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