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Sorry to hear it's gotten this bad, foot. Dana and monster are asking the right questions though. I would also add, does her mom live in town now?
It would be cheaper, and better for the kids (divorce stress aside, they're still going to have to deal with their mom being bitchy even if you successfully extricate yourself from it) if you could enforce a buffer period. Like maybe tack on an all-day spa treatment after every visit, before she's allowed to come home. Lay it out right, and it could be "for her" and not for you.
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