[*] Which British Children's Show did I plagiarize the thread title from?
I have no idea
[*] What's your favorite houseplant?
Venus Flytrap: it's a plant! It's a carnivore!
[*] You open the front door and there's a wet, scrawny puppy whimpering on the mat. What do you name it?
Depends on who he looks like
[*] You win a free books from the "Idiot's Guide To" series. Which one do you choose?
Idiot's Guide to Social Skills
[*] Alaska or Florida 24/7/365?
Florida
[*] What does your doormat look like?
Brown hair and eyes, 40-something, oh...that's me
[*] If you were to attempt to break a Guinness World record to raise money for a charity you support, what record would it be?
Hummus eating
[*] Scrabble or Monopoly?
Monopoly
[*] Do you fold down the corner of the page to mark your place in the book you are reading?
Yes
[*] How often do you wear a hat?
Seldom
[*] What is your favorite candy or chocolate bar?
Reeses or Clark Bar
[*] What is your most embarrassing "bodily (mal)function" moment?
I fart at will. Will hates it, but you know...there's more room out than in
[*] What is the most you ever paid for a ticket to an event and what was the event?
My mom paid a lot for our Lion King tickets, I rarely buy tickets, someone usually is treating 
[*] What is the first non-English swear word you learned?
bastardo
[*] How many roads must a man walk down?
Is he coming to my house? Tell him to go the other way, don't care how many roads it takes him
[*] How many open condiments do you have in your fridge?
2
[*] Darth Vader or The Terminator?
Neither