Quote:
Originally Posted by Pete Zicato
I've heard it's a rough life living on the lam.
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"I don't know but I've been told it's hard to run with the weight of gold.
On the other hand, I've heard it said it's just as hard with the weight of lead...
One way or another this darkness has got to give."
Quote:
Originally Posted by infinite monkey
Yaa-aaa-aaaaah, it is.
And if he'd stay away from the lambs he wouldn't have to move so much [/groucho impression]
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It would seem I am knowledgeable, if not expert
Farmer Wilson walks over to Farmer Jones' place and says
"Jones, I got me a problem and I gotta to go to court - I need a lawyer, do you know any?" Farmer Jones replies, "yeah, I know a couple of those guys. One is a hell of a trial lawyer, great guy but expensive as hell; the other, not so great, but the guy sure knows how to pick a jury and he's a lot cheaper." Wilson thanks his buddy and moves on thinking to himself, well I don't have a lot of money so I guess I know what I have to do.
Wilson's day in court finally comes and the first witness called to the stand is his neighbor Mrs. Smith. Mrs. Smith is sworn in and the prosecuter asks her, "Mrs. Smith, would you please tell the court what you saw on the day in question. "Why yes I can", she says, "I was doing my dishes, looking out my window over the sink when I saw Farmer Wilson come out from behind his barn and grab one of his goats". Yes mam, and then what did you see? "Well after he grabbed that goat he proceeded to drop his pants and fornicate with that there goat!" Is that all mam? "Well no, after it seemed like he had his way with that goat, the goat turned around and proceeded to lick him clean!"
It was at this point of the testimony that one man on the jury turns to another man on the jury and says "you know, a good goat will do that"..