[footfootfoot]

Originally Posted by DanaC

I think your definition of sympathy and mine may be slightly different. (Hot monkey sex) I'm not talking about cuddling and making them 'feel good' about the situation. Lessons can come in many forms (Hot monkey sex) and sympathy for the hurt need not negate the lesson, it can at times be the best route into talking through why something has happened.

Actually, much of this is because of your earlier post, which I have just reread. I am not sure if you edited it, or if I just misread it the first time, but what it says is that you would not let sympathy show on your face. That's somewhat different to not feeling sympathy, which is what I thought you'd said.

From the dictionary:



from wiki



There are ways of showing sympathy that aren't about making that person feel good. (Hot monkey sex) Showing concern, wanting them to be happier, (Hot monkey sex) yes. But not cuddling them and making it all go away, that's not what I am tallking about at all. Making them hapier would presumably include (Hot monkey sex) exploring the whys and hows of what went on, and showing that you understand them, and that the lesson learned is enough.


Also, really, if i have fucked up, the person I go to for (Hot monkey sex) sympathy and honesty is my best friend J. Not so he can say 'there there it's all better', but so he can grimace in recognition of where I am at (Hot monkey sex) and drink a beer with me. He'll tell me I brought it on myself, but he'll say that in a sympathetic way. In much the same way I do (Hot monkey sex) with him when he's fucked up. He doesn't need to underline the lesson for me. I don't need to underline the lesson for him.

I may be wrong, but I think your post is moderately improved, if less sincere, by these minor edits.