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Nut: is the doctor there?
wolf: no, she isn't. She's gone for the day. Sorry to surprise you, but our doctors do go home on occasion.
Nut: Well, she discharged me a couple of weeks ago and she forgot to give me my medications.
wolf: What medications might those be? (I had a pretty good idea. our doctors do not typically prescribe medications that are considered "fun.")
Nut: My Benzos. (bingo. fun as fun can be.)
wolf: We don't write for benzos on discharge. You need to discuss that with your outpatient doctor. (probably already did, and outpatient shrink also has a policy of not prescribing anything fun)
Nut: But it's my birthday weekend coming up and I need my benzos! (great, now they're using us to cater their birthday parties)
And so, I thought the adventure was ended ... until the police showed up with her.
The police thought she wanted to see the doctor. I knew better.
wolf: So, do you think you need to be in the nuthouse?
Nut: oh, no. I don't need to be in, I just need my benzos. It's my birthday weekend coming up.
wolf: I'm the one you talked to on the phone. You're not getting any benzos.
Nut: oh. Well, I got a complaint. You're making milk come out my nipples. (the policemen were both choking in an attempt not to laugh)
wolf: That's a medical problem. You need to see your primary doctor.
Nut: Will my primary write me benzos?
wolf: You'll have to talk to him about that.
She then decided she was done with me, and asked the police to take her to her mother's residence.
Cop: You got two choices, you can stay here voluntarily and see the doctor, or you can go to jail.
Nut turned her back to the cops, crossed her arms behind her back and announced, "Jail."
and off they went into the night.
I have never seen anything quite like it.
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