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Shame I wasn't there for you, honey. I speak firefighter, and have an entirely different relationship with cops than most people.
Lemme tell you, starting a round of crazy-people war stories distracts all but the drunkest of cops, and a double fatality vehicle extraction (with a beheading) will distract the firemen. I'll set you up with a couple of these and you'll be able to make it through the next Stressmas dinner like a champ.
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