At age 26, I have been in the customer service industry for 10 years, 4 of those years in management...across all spectrums (retail, call center, mail center, internet, face-to-face). And while I love to help customers, that thing about the customer always being right is the biggest bunch of bullshit I've ever heard in my life. But in working for the insurance industry for the past 5 months, I have seen the customer reach new heights. And although some of what's here may be harsh, from what I saw, I was one of the more lenient and friendly supervisors.
Unfortunately, kismet (?) got shit-canned by his job for posting funny customer-related issues on here earlier in the year. They WERE funny though. I have some good ones too...and now I'm no longer employed. Of course, no names of customers or wireless carriers will be used.
A pissed off customer, upon finding out where our company is based: "Oh, you're in Philadelphia. NOW it makes sense!" (What the fuck does that mean?! If anything, the fact that our company is based in Philadelphia should make people think that all Philadelphians are mean as hell and will kick your pathetic ass if you look the wrong way.)
"I will send you a bill for my time." (Well, that's awfully nice, given that you're a moron that doesn't know how to follow directions, thereby setting your ass up for failure.)
A customer in tears over the fact that her claim has been in review for 3 months: "Please...PLEASE..make this go away!" (Damn, I hate to hear a woman cry. Even though it was completely her fault, I still felt bad for her.)
A customer, upon hearing that his claim has been denied for mechanical failure (which is not covered under one carrier's policy): "Okay then, just say that I dropped the phone."
Syc: "Sir, we can't do that. That's called insurance fraud."
Customer: "Look, what's it gonna take to get me a new phone?"
(Some folks just don't get it.)
"I'm going to sue you for lost wages." (Look, you're not going to get shit out of me. Don't get pissy mad at me because you forgot to read the exclusions in your policy.)
Another customer, whose claim was denied: "Okay, well, I'm going to submit this Proof of Loss (a form that is required for review claims) and call back." (A rep had accidentally sent the form, but it turns out that the customer's claim wasn't covered, so I had to handle the denial.)
Syc: "Sir, we're not going to be able to cover your claim. We can't send you a replacement phone."
Customer: "Yes you will."
Syc: "No we won't sir. Your claim is denied."
Customer: "No it is NOT. MY CLAIM IS NOT DENIED!"
(Ummm...lessee, I clicked the button on our claim system that says "Deny." Based upon the info given, the claim cannot be covered, so yes you stupid fuck, your claim IS denied!)
And now, for some of my personal favorite lines I've given to customers:
Another customer, in review: "Sir, no offense, but if you would've filled out the form correctly in the first place, we wouldn't have this problem."
To a carrier, who screwed up their customer's enrollment information, causing the customer's claim to be denied: "I'm sorry sir, but (insert carrier name here) is going to have to eat that claim."
Any customer that starts cussing: "Now sir, if you're going to use abusive language, I'm going to put you on hold until you calm down."
Customer: "Fuck you--"
Syc: *hits hold button*
Sycamore practices empathy: "Sir, I understand, but--"
Customer: "No, don't feed me that bullshit!"
More empathy: "Sir, if I could do that for you, I certainly would, but--"
Customer: "No, you can do it. You just don't WANT to." (Now look damnit! It's not like we're in a store here. If I can't do it, I can't do it. It's called insurance regulations you turd!)
A customer, who wants an upgrade or compensation b/c of some sort of delay, and is insisting on it: "Sir, you have to understand. We're an insurance company. It's not like we can make it up to you if we screw up. All I can do is sincerely apologize and try to make it right the next time." (Which, unfortunately, is the truth.)
*customer grumbles and hangs up the phone*
Never a dull moment.
