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Those "11 weird ingredients" include salt (a staple), modified food starch (a relative of cornstarch, another staple), and caramel color (a simple product of heated sugar). They do include chemical additives to the cream, but most commercially available cream at the grocery store has multiple additives to control its stability and texture, too.
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Oh, baloney. (Get it? Nyuck nyuck nyuck...) I am guessing, though I don't know, that the "salt" referred to is sodium benzoate, as the writer of this article is unlikely to have a problem with basic table salt. Calling sodium benzoate a salt is rather disingenuous, as it only occurs naturally in extremely small quantities. It is certainly not a staple in anyone's kitchen.
And while corn starch is a staple, modifying that starch is not a meaningless transformation, and can include physical, chemical, or enzymatic processes. There's no real accountability to determine which process a manufacturer uses. Nobody has modified food starch in their pantry.
What's more, caramel color is more than just heated sugar, as evidenced by the fact that it very frequently contains gluten, among other additives. Again, not something people keep in their kitchen.