[Sundae]

So, the pantomime.
It’s an art form John Barrowman was made for. Watch an interview with him - he’s irrepressible. The typical pantomime requirements of singing, dancing and having a cheeky sense of humour are all there already. Also the man has so much charisma you’re bound to care about the character he plays. Okaya 43 year old Aladdin should be a stretch, but panto isn’t about reality and never has been. His mother is played by a man after all.

JB played Aladdin pretty much as himself. There were sly (and not so sly) nods to the fact that he’s gay, but Aladdin gets married to the Princess and therefore so does John. The show opened with the baddie Abanazer, but as soon as he set up the story we were in the village of Won Long Pu with John singing I’m Coming Up (So You’d Better Get the Party Started) with a wonderfully young and lithe ensemble troop. It’s one of his staple songs when he tours, so it would have pleased many of us there just for John.

At this point he was in a patchwork jerkin and leggings - actually every costume had leggings, all the better for showing off thighs and bum - and he remained in this most of the first half. The Krankies were introduced as police (polis) after this. The premise was that Aladdin had been caught trying to look at the Princess Jasmine, an act punishable by death, so they were trying to get him. Abanazer needed Aladdin to get the magic lamp from the cave so that he could use it’s power to take over the world. Aladdin wanted to be rich so he could marry the Princess. That’s pretty much the story.

The Krankies - for those of you not in the know - are a husband and wife entertainment team. They were often on children’s TV and variety shows back in the 70s and 80s. Ian is normal height, but his wife Janette is only 4’5”. Their act is based on Janette playing a naughty schoolboy called Wee Jimmy Krankie. It’s ridiculous of course, but I loved them as a child and they work exceptionally well in a panto setting. Janette had a couple of delightful ad libs - which may have been repeated every night but got a big laugh regardless. She also had some excellent costume changes, dressing up as Ozzy Osbourne, Lady Gaga and Susan Boyle. She had a couple of her own songs too - far more than Princess Jasmine (and much more stage time!)

The 3D kicked in when Aladdin got into the cave and summoned the genie. It was brilliant. At one point I realised I had been sat there with my mouth simply open. The effects seemed to be directed at each person individually, so for example all the bats flew at me, and the snake struck right before my nose. People were flinching and children trying to reach out and touch things. It wasn’t over-used imo, but the panto could easily have coped if it hadn’t been included. And yes, there were times when I was watching John at the side of the stage rather than the 3D genie he was talking to.

Aladdin gets the lamp and wishes himself out of the cave and back home again. He is also rich, cue Aladdin arriving on a huge mechanical elephant in a gorgeously sparkly and sequinned suit - white I think. The Emperor allows Aladdin to marry his daughter as he is now the richest man in China (should we really be teaching children this?) and the Krankies are called off.

But what about Abanazer? He is not daunted and turns up as a New Lamps For Old seller. He tricks Widow Twanky and Jasmine into giving him the magic lamp - aren’t women stupid? - and kidnaps Jasmine. Aladdin, the Emperor, the Krankies and Twanky use a magic carpet to follow them. Somewhere in this there are more songs and sketches of course. Everyone changes into a sparkly powder blue costume. Jasmine is rescued and kissed (eeeergh!) and the lamp retrieved. Abanazer is changed into a nice man with a very bizarre cod-Scottish accent and the show is done.

Quick change into sparkly red for the final bows.

I could happily have gone back that evening and watching it all again. Apparently the final audience gave them a standing ovation.
I wish we could have - they deserved it. It was very slick, very funny - I laughed as much as I would have at an evening of stand-up comedy - and the songs and dancing were flawless. John can sing, of course. He’s a West End star because of it. But there is something special about seeing him do it live.

Dana says she’ll come with me if he’s in panto again next year. If he is, I hope it’s not in Scotland. Much as I adored my time there, the journey is a killer. Still, maybe I can pretend not to have an environmental conscience and fly next time. Which reminds me - I really need to start saving now. This time last year we were already booking our tickets.