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Cloud · 10-09-2010, 09:41 AM

well, the tricks our mind can play on us are truly amazing, that's true.

I get the sense that you're suggesting it's all a sham--that somewhere down the line she's going to realize her comfort was "just a dream" and she'll collapse anew in grief; that her coping mechanism is false. I'm not sure that's a valid judgment, but like you, I'm uneasy because it seems like she hasn't allowed herself to grieve at all. Even if she believes the dream, that doesn't mean she still shouldn't grieve for her husband, right?

Studies have shown that the ability to cope with tragedy well is one indicator of a long life, so maybe this is good for her. If it were me, I might believe the apparition. But I'd still be devastated.

10-09-2010, 09:41 AM	#4
Cloud ... Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 8,360	well, the tricks our mind can play on us are truly amazing, that's true. I get the sense that you're suggesting it's all a sham--that somewhere down the line she's going to realize her comfort was "just a dream" and she'll collapse anew in grief; that her coping mechanism is false. I'm not sure that's a valid judgment, but like you, I'm uneasy because it seems like she hasn't allowed herself to grieve at all. Even if she believes the dream, that doesn't mean she still shouldn't grieve for her husband, right? Studies have shown that the ability to cope with tragedy well is one indicator of a long life, so maybe this is good for her. If it were me, I might believe the apparition. But I'd still be devastated. __________________ "Guard your honor. Let your reputation fall where it will. And outlive the bastards!"