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In this case, I really don't think it is so much a matter of black and white vs. shades of gray. I think that when a parent pushes too hard and expects too much, he/she teaches the child to do the same. The child will learn to expect more than he/she can ever accomplish from himself and end up in a perpetual state of disappointment and sadness. The disillusionment can happen over and over again, but the compulsion to set super high, unatainable expectations for one's self and the rest of the world never really ends. Disillusionment is only temporary for people like this...namely, me.
I think it is great to shoot for the best, but to hold yourself or others to expectations of perfection (or always winning) is ludicrous and damages a person's sense of self worth for a long time.
Just speaking from my experiences.
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