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Riddil · 12-09-2003, 03:24 PM

Is it even allowable to skip 4 pages of posts and simply post right at the end? Well.. truth be told I did skim the other posts.

I think that this thread has fallen a little astray. Santa Claus is the easiest and most prevalent example about "disillusionment" that you can pull from. Buuuut, I think that in that regard Santa isn't the example to use as your primary argument. Santa is different from 99% of everything else a child learns in that he is a truly imaginary character. He simply does not exist in the "fat man, red suit, little elves" respect. Even though a child may be disheartened when he learns the truth, it is still something their psyche can heal from w/o any great long-term trauma.

But.... what about the things that aren't concrete. Take for example my nephew.... well first, you need to understand my brother. My dear bro Ryan has always been a sports-nut. Ultra-competitive in everything he does. Lombardi is one of his greatest heroes. In fact, he's so fixated on sports that his child is named "Isiah" after Isiah Thomas, the former NBA star.

As Ryan is raising his son he's teaching him what he believes are very important life lessons.

- Never accept 2nd place. 2nd place is the first loser.
- Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing
- Don't make excuses, make results
etc etc

That's great... and those are some great catch-phrases... but we learned those as adults to help motivate us. But one thing that life has taught is that nobody wins them all. Sometimes you lose. So now you have this child taking those phrases not as a motivator, but as a life-affirming slogan. His son is so ultra-competitive at 6 years old, that if you play any game with him, he will cry, scream, cheat, hit, yell, pout, and do whatever it takes to win.

Not everyone will become an astronaut. Not everyone will get to be the Super Bowl MVP. I seriously watch my bro raise his child and I'm ready to see this kid in a fit of rage the first time he loses a foot race. Or doesn't make the cut for a HS sport team. Or isn't picked first in gym class. *Whatever*.

Disillusionment is most damaging when the ideas that are instilled aren't black-or-white. And worse yet when society only serves to reinforce those ideals (like winning-is-the-only-thing mantra) you have either a lifetime of frustration, or a huge depressing crash when suddenly you realize that you will never become the king-of-the-world.

And don't use Tiger Woods as a positive example... because I promise you that for every 1 Tiger Woods out there, you'll find 10,000 more failed children who one day had to wake up and accept the fact that they "aren't good enough", no matter how hard they were pushed, and no matter what motivational slogans they live by.

Disillusionment at it's worst.

12-09-2003, 03:24 PM	#62
Riddil Management Consultant Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 165	Is it even allowable to skip 4 pages of posts and simply post right at the end? Well.. truth be told I did skim the other posts. I think that this thread has fallen a little astray. Santa Claus is the easiest and most prevalent example about "disillusionment" that you can pull from. Buuuut, I think that in that regard Santa isn't the example to use as your primary argument. Santa is different from 99% of everything else a child learns in that he is a truly imaginary character. He simply does not exist in the "fat man, red suit, little elves" respect. Even though a child may be disheartened when he learns the truth, it is still something their psyche can heal from w/o any great long-term trauma. But.... what about the things that aren't concrete. Take for example my nephew.... well first, you need to understand my brother. My dear bro Ryan has always been a sports-nut. Ultra-competitive in everything he does. Lombardi is one of his greatest heroes. In fact, he's so fixated on sports that his child is named "Isiah" after Isiah Thomas, the former NBA star. As Ryan is raising his son he's teaching him what he believes are very important life lessons. - Never accept 2nd place. 2nd place is the first loser. - Winning isn't everything, it's the only thing - Don't make excuses, make results etc etc That's great... and those are some great catch-phrases... but we learned those as adults to help motivate us. But one thing that life has taught is that nobody wins them all. Sometimes you lose. So now you have this child taking those phrases not as a motivator, but as a life-affirming slogan. His son is so ultra-competitive at 6 years old, that if you play any game with him, he will cry, scream, cheat, hit, yell, pout, and do whatever it takes to win. Not everyone will become an astronaut. Not everyone will get to be the Super Bowl MVP. I seriously watch my bro raise his child and I'm ready to see this kid in a fit of rage the first time he loses a foot race. Or doesn't make the cut for a HS sport team. Or isn't picked first in gym class. Whatever. Disillusionment is most damaging when the ideas that are instilled aren't black-or-white. And worse yet when society only serves to reinforce those ideals (like winning-is-the-only-thing mantra) you have either a lifetime of frustration, or a huge depressing crash when suddenly you realize that you will never become the king-of-the-world. And don't use Tiger Woods as a positive example... because I promise you that for every 1 Tiger Woods out there, you'll find 10,000 more failed children who one day had to wake up and accept the fact that they "aren't good enough", no matter how hard they were pushed, and no matter what motivational slogans they live by. Disillusionment at it's worst.