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Juniper · 08-27-2010, 01:29 AM

Here's my experience.

If you are going to the wedding, you bring the gift with you to the reception. It is placed upon a table with other gifts, apparently so that everyone can admire how many gifts have been collected, and that's that.

The gifts are opened at some future point, perhaps when the happy couple returns from their honeymoon, and thank-you-notes are issued at that point.

If you are not going to the wedding, whether or not you should actually send a gift depends upon your relationship to the bride or groom. The way I see it is this: would you attend the wedding if circumstances were ideal? If distance, scheduling, expense, health concerns, social awkwardness etc. were not an issue, would you go? Are you close enough to that person to believe you weren't invited just to be polite or just as the source for another gift? If so, you should send a gift even if you can't be there, even if it's just a $10 teflon skillet. From their registry, of course. Don't even think of giving anything that isn't on the registry, unless it's cash or a gift card for a really practical shop, nothing obscure, because gift cards are just a major pain if they're not someplace you go anyway.

And Crimson, I think it's entirely appropriate for your niece to request a Nintendo Wii. The Wii fuckin' RULES. I LOVE our Wii. Every marriage needs a little healthy escape time. It's just as important as china and crystal. Wait--who uses china and crystal nowadays?

OUR registry didn't ask for any of that stuff. We were already living together and didn't need much. We asked for money and gift cards. We were really crass--I mean it, I look back and think damn, did we really do this? How rude! But the thing we wanted most of all was contributions to our honeymoon. We set it up with AAA so they could actually pay the travel agent, somehow--I think it involved buying traveler's checks--so we could go to Florida for a week. We couldn't afford it otherwise. I think we ended up collecting about $400 which really helped a lot.

Well, TMI, but yeah, you're right. Send 'em to the address on the invitation.

08-27-2010, 01:29 AM	#14
Juniper I know, right? Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 1,539	Here's my experience. If you are going to the wedding, you bring the gift with you to the reception. It is placed upon a table with other gifts, apparently so that everyone can admire how many gifts have been collected, and that's that. The gifts are opened at some future point, perhaps when the happy couple returns from their honeymoon, and thank-you-notes are issued at that point. If you are not going to the wedding, whether or not you should actually send a gift depends upon your relationship to the bride or groom. The way I see it is this: would you attend the wedding if circumstances were ideal? If distance, scheduling, expense, health concerns, social awkwardness etc. were not an issue, would you go? Are you close enough to that person to believe you weren't invited just to be polite or just as the source for another gift? If so, you should send a gift even if you can't be there, even if it's just a $10 teflon skillet. From their registry, of course. Don't even think of giving anything that isn't on the registry, unless it's cash or a gift card for a really practical shop, nothing obscure, because gift cards are just a major pain if they're not someplace you go anyway. And Crimson, I think it's entirely appropriate for your niece to request a Nintendo Wii. The Wii fuckin' RULES. I LOVE our Wii. Every marriage needs a little healthy escape time. It's just as important as china and crystal. Wait--who uses china and crystal nowadays? OUR registry didn't ask for any of that stuff. We were already living together and didn't need much. We asked for money and gift cards. We were really crass--I mean it, I look back and think damn, did we really do this? How rude! But the thing we wanted most of all was contributions to our honeymoon. We set it up with AAA so they could actually pay the travel agent, somehow--I think it involved buying traveler's checks--so we could go to Florida for a week. We couldn't afford it otherwise. I think we ended up collecting about $400 which really helped a lot. Well, TMI, but yeah, you're right. Send 'em to the address on the invitation.