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I would take him to the lunch. The actual funeral is tramatic for most of us, kids even more so. All that crying and such might make it even harder for Thor to get over the fear of growing up. The lunch is to remember the person, and to socialize. This would be the best time for Thor and Fred to spend a few mins together. You have taken the time to go, and offer condolances, but if you did not know him that well... you are not intruding in what looks to be a very full and crowded funeral.
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