[lumberjim]

Have You Ever?

1. Felt the sun shining on your bare ass ...... long ago, maybe
2. Been caught screwing in the car ..... yah...
3. Been asked to leave a bar no....I'm much too likeable in person
4. Been physically removed from a bar ...... no
5. Outran the police in a car ......not that THEY know of
6. Outran the police on foot.... only because they were unwilling to get out of their cars. In later life, I realized that it was better to approach them with a smile and talk my way out of it.
7. Passed out drunk in a public place. ........... no wai........... oh wait.... yes... but i was only 14 yrs old.
8. Driven a car over 100 mph............... several times.....and on a motorcycle....
9. Jumped a motorcycle more than thirty feet. up or accross? (neither)
10. Been fired from a job for screwing around on your boss' dime.... nope... only time i got fired was for attendance issues
11. Seen Elvis live in concert. presley? no.
12. Seen Jimmy Buffett live in concert.. nope
13. Touched a hummingbird.... no
14. Been flogged by a rooster/chicken..... i assume you mean rubber.... and no.
15. Been knocked out cold by a blow to the head.... nope
16. Served a jail sentence.... no
17. Served a prison sentence......... no
18. Had sex outside in broad daylight.............. standing up
19. Had a physical altercation with your best friend............ sure
20. Had your ass handed to you by someone literally half your size...... i HAVE no ass.

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