[LittleWolf]

Originally Posted by xoxoxoBruce

No, this is fine. People can post as anonymous, if they wish.

Sorry, my solution was to become a hermit, which doesn't do you any good.
I really hope you find a solution, and if you do, share it with us. By the way, how old is he?

I'm not particularly embarrassed about this problem, at least he's working on it and that's something to be proud of.

He actually was a hermit because he has always had problems with people; he really wants to get out there and have fun, but he get really upset at people doing stupid things and can't just ignore it and be happy. He is 30 years old, and very introverted.

Originally Posted by DanaC

Am I right in thinking your partner is bi-polar? I seem to recall from another thread (thought I may be mixing you up with someone else, in which case my apologies :P)

I'd have thought some kind of one to one counselling might be useful. If he is bi-polar then medication to help manage the symptoms (including anger management) may be appropriate. I'd also suggest maybe seeking out an NLP counsellor (neuro linguistic programming). Probably the best (imo) NLP practitioners are the Sensory Systems counsellors; might be worth seeing if there are any near you.

What's great about NLP is it doesn't have that same humiliation factor or retraumatising effect that so much counselling seems to have; it helps you to understand and exert control over how your brain processes information and emotion and is based far more on practical tools than on reliving some past tragedy.

You are right! Good memory, he is bipolar. He takes medication to deal with it. The anger persist. He is very resentful towards psychologists because they always have all the reasons for why he is like he is, but no solutions except for more pills or more therapy.

We are looking up the NLP and seeing if it's a viable option for us, thank you for telling me. You are right, they just ask him to relive the past and talk to dolls pretending they are the people from his past. It's quite stupid.

Originally Posted by monster

Does your partner have a history of depression?

He is bipolar, but not an extreme one, if it makes sense. He gets depressed but I think he has good reasons to be (not just chemical depression where you are okay and well, but feel really sad and down).

Originally Posted by Clodfobble

I, too, would recommend a Sensory approach over a Psychological approach. I've never experienced or witnessed its effects on anger management specifically, but I find that it's a much more legitimate form of mental understanding and control. As in, you're not "this way" because of some bullshit repressed memory about your mother, you're feeling these emotions because your brain has settled into inappropriate response pathways, and you need to actively retrain them.

I'm sure psychologists have years of training and education, being each one different from the next; but when it comes to an individual and intelligent approach, most just try to jam you into a mold where all "crazy" people should fit.

Originally Posted by Sheldonrs

A friend of mine at one of my old jobs had some anger issues and didn't know it until it was pointed out to him by a few people.
His solution was to wear a gaudy bracelet, the purpose of which was to remind him everytime he saw it to think about if he needed to check his mood at any given time.
It seemed to work for him.

That actually might work. He forgets what he is doing and just walks right into it without seeing the signs. Big swearing problem, he feels really awful afterward.

Originally Posted by Gravdigr

This may have nothing to do with anything. But. I have some problems with anger. I have noticed, since I began tracking my blood sugar, that sometimes I (literally) wake up just steaming mad. Every single time I've thought to check my sugar on these days, it's been low. Well, low for me. Usually 250 and up. On those bad mornings, 90-150.
ETA: Bringing the sugar up, yeah, that don't help.

He doesn't eat well at all which I am pretty sure contributes to his problem. I am showing him how to cook so he can feed himself better, but his anger often doesn't let him learn things or enjoy food when I try to feed him some decent food. Just gets upset and stays upset a REALLY long time. Abnormally long. He had several medical check ups and no word of diabetes or high blood pressure, just malnourishment.

Thank you for all the replies, I have a lot more ideas now than when I came around with. But please, if you have an anger problem or dealt with someone with it, let me know, we could really benefit from hearing how you realized you had a problem, how you dealt with it and how you stand with it today.

Thank you so much.