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Am I right in thinking your partner is bi-polar? I seem to recall from another thread (thought I may be mixing you up with someone else, in which case my apologies :P)
I'd have thought some kind of one to one counselling might be useful. If he is bi-polar then medication to help manage the symptoms (including anger management) may be appropriate. I'd also suggest maybe seeking out an NLP counsellor (neuro linguistic programming). Probably the best (imo) NLP practitioners are the Sensory Systems counsellors; might be worth seeing if there are any near you.
What's great about NLP is it doesn't have that same humiliation factor or retraumatising effect that so much counselling seems to have; it helps you to understand and exert control over how your brain processes information and emotion and is based far more on practical tools than on reliving some past tragedy.
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