[spudcon]

Beside rice, potatoes are cultivated and eaten by almost every culture on Earth. They grow almost anywhere, and are a very hardy plant. They are consumed in a great variety of forms, and are an ingredient of countless dishes. Now, close your eyes and visualize a potato.



(really do this and then go on)



What feelings did that image evoke? Hunger? A recipe idea? A painful and deeply embarrassing sexual experience? Think deeper. I will bet that somewhere, profoundly inside, that potato evoked some sense of well-being - that in its essence, a potato is to us in whatever small way, a thing whose presence comforts us.



Why should we be comforted by the idea of a potato? That’s ridiculous, as if it’s some idol to be worshiped. But then, consider this: A power mad country, who we all know who we’re talking about, gains control of the entire globe. They solve all hunger problems, so that no person shall ever go hungry again, but in the face of this new order, they also decree that all potatoes shall be banished from the Earth, wiped clean as by the hand of God.



A huge campaign of destruction would ensue. To grow them would be punishable by death. Now, go to that place of comfort the potato afforded you a moment ago and ask yourself “would you fight back”? Would you fight for the potatoes? And you know what? I think you would. Therefore, you must ask yourself, why would I fight an underground partisan campaign, potentially gaining a French accent, to defend potatoes? Because ironically, the “mad” government is right. Potatoes are everywhere man. We do not cultivate potatoes, they train us to aid in the expansion of their numbers until they may strike at humanity. There is, in a word – a potato conspiracy...

http://www.hill-tv.com/Deadside%20Potato.htm